A bored mind and why i need to write

(dont let the intro bore you, theres more to this post than just a random urge to write)

I’m not sure what to write right now, i just have an urge to get up and write, its just after 3am, I woke up just before from a dream and in it was a wind storm that was beginning to take things out of the ground and people up in the air, i found shelter in a wood shack type of building and there were people in there 2 of which where doing something like a taking inventory kind of thing and putting these weird objects that were all the same looking in a particular order, i woke up with the phrase “Tasmanian collage” (as in a picture collage) singing in my mind and then a lady from church popped up in my head and said “only save the ones that are necessary” i think this dream had to do with my memory my head did feel strange inwardly after i woke up. And now im here wanting to write, i felt like my mind was bored and i needed to do something active with it, but i think some physical activity would probably be good like some normal work with my hands, something like sanding some doors or tables would be marvellous i love that kind of work, its good for the soul. well for my soul it was when i did it recently.

God gave me a book in the spirit the title is something I’m still trying to understand as it was given to me in a dream and I’m not going to mention it here but it was a symbolic title that is, it had words and a picture, the contents were 4 pictures 2 on each page, and the first picture said “The old man” the other 3 pictures had no words underneath them, it was as though the pictures were representative of revelations on certain things, as life went on i came to the understanding the other 3 pictures were called The Matrix, The Subconscious Mind and Overcoming Fear with Overcoming Fear having a list of different problems under it like overcoming anxiety and overcoming depression and more.

I’m still unravelling the ball that is this revelation on these topics but i felt to talk about them now,  its as though as this book will bring hope to people and it will answer all my questions about life and the spiritual realm and why we’re here, it makes sense it would answer these questions as the things I’ve experienced these past 6 years certainly show me that there is some deep but simple to understand answers for these things.

So here I am at 3:22 am wanting to write but not knowing what im going to write, its like my ‘knowledge centre’ is bursting in my brain and i want to share my life with someone or others, many others and bring relief to this burden that is in my brain to lift this knowledge off into the consciousness of peoples hearts and minds so they know why they’re here and what they’re here for. I know thats big to say but it seems like thats whats troubling me, i often feel like i have knowledge i want to give people but im not sure how to share it all at once or even what that knowledge might be its just ‘there’ waiting to be heard and realised so i feel alleviated in my heart and mind, it may be that i just want to tell people a whole bunch of things that i realised while having what the doctors would call psychosis where i would describe it differently, more like being made aware of the spiritual realm on earth for what its really like and how its hidden in front of our eyes, and how really its like one big spiritual computer system that is running the whole world and has been hijacked by demonic entities.

There is more to the spiritual realm than that, but concerning the earth realm of it and possibly the 2nd heaven realm thats what its like in some respect.

I feel this knowledge i want to share that is bursting is my revelation on The Matrix and Subconscious Mind and Overcoming Fear, its the most amazing revelation that has come across my path in a long time on how the spiritual realm works, i feel its time to share it, although it might take me a while as its one big download of spiritual knowledge, it almost sent me permanently disabled in my mind, when i observed its reality, it took months even a few years now to come back to a place of normalcy where i can begin to even share it without being afraid or worried I’m doing the wrong thing.

There were times when observing its reality in the spirit that i came to feel so scared and traumatised that i couldn’t even communicate with people and tell them what was going on, in my mind and observation, they wouldn’t have believed or understood anyway, it would have been useless trying to “explain ice cream to someone who’s never had ice cream” and the fact that demons were generally inhabiting temporarily the people who were in front of me and i didnt understand what was going on either thankfully ive become more grounded and understanding of things so i can attempt to explain and unravel the mystery as to What is the Matrix? How the Subconscious mind works and How to Overcome Fear and all the symptoms of fear based illnesses like anxiety and depression and rejection.

This is a taste of what it was like for me witnessing this world i was in, imagine most people around you having different colours in their eyes (in their iris’s) seeing colour connections coming from the sky (kind of) to peoples heads, people seemingly looking at you like they know you could see they looked different, people acting literally like they were in a different place than normal, like being different completely in there personalities and treating you differently than normal, hearing conversations with people and your brain interpreting almost everything in a symbolic way like you were in a dream but you were awake and certain words coming from peoples mouths that had a spiritual sound on them that made you feel it was symbolic of something more and like they were speaking in code to you, (i became quite skilled in interpreting symbolic language during this experience and was able to understand my dreams better than i had in the past)

This experience went on for weeks at a time two different time periods in my life and both times it sent me to hospital, the 2nd time was even worst and more intense than the first time and lasted longer, it completely flipped my life upside down it really disillusioned me with the reality i knew, because to me, it was the new reality, even though it eventually subsided and i returned to what i knew as normal, but even when things seemed “normal” i knew in my mind that i couldnt go back to things being like they were even though i tried and have in many ways, its still there under the surface knowing that this world is like this, the worst and most hardest thing that i endured while living this out was that it felt like all that i had known was taken from me and i wasn’t going to get it back, i felt like i could trust no one, there was no spiritually safe place and there was no safe person, although some people were safer than others just not safe like they would be in some other situations.

This time in my life experiencing seeing the spiritual world like this was traumatising it felt like it wasn’t going to end, it was overwhelming to the extreme and i felt like it almost killed me, i did literally feel like i was going to die in my heart, i thought my heart would fail me i was so overwhelmed with fear and terror, i didnt trust anybody, and the worst part of all, i didnt know where god was in all this, i cried out so much for answers i wanted to sense peace and his presence, but it was like everything that was spiritually good had disappeared and ‘I wasn’t in kansas anymore’ i felt almost no good spiritual feelings in the atmospheres or energies of things most if not all things gave no rest and most places in buildings felt bad spiritually, it was like a living hell and i thought i was going their for a while, all that i knew of god i realised i needed to know more than what i knew, my tools to get through werent enough to change the situation, i had to change my beliefs and my attitudes and actions, i came to really hunger after hearing gods voice and found you cant rely on others to hear god for you, you absolutely must find him for yourself.

The prophetic word of hope

I was so desperate to hear god i hoped so much that god would just tell someone something and they would tell me something about what was going on and i would know they were hearing from god because they would tell me key things that only god could know, but that didnt happen, the closest i got to that was a lady giving me a prophetic word at a church service one day and one of the things i remember she said was something about the “oh the help of man” like it was a useless thing and it was, it definately was, and not to rely on man but to trust god, she also said it seemed like from my point of view the path i was on was a path of darkness, but from gods point of view it was a path full of light, and angels were along it, she knew NOTHING of what i had experienced, i hadn’t told her anything about what i just wrote above or other things to give her the impression she should tell me all what she told me.

The bible being my one thing i believed i should be able to rely on in this time seemed to even turn against me, when i read it, spiritually speaking it seemed to harm me in my mind reading it and if i tried speak the words out to confess the scriptures to try help me and change my situation, seemed to backfire on me and with my gift of sight and discernment it was a very challenging experience it felt like the word was backfiring on me and giving me the opposite of what i was trying to say, and very much for a time it seemed that all the bad things the bible says will happen to bad people or anything judging sin was being highlighted to me, like most scriptures in proverbs took on a different meaning to me and some of the things that pertained to evil people seemed to be coming in my mind like it was about me, i thought god was judging me, which in a way thats what the experience was like, one day months later, i had that thought in my mind god was judging me, and i instantly said, no he’s not (even though i had been kind of believing he had been previously) simply because i didnt want it to be true but i didnt have a valid reason to say why he wasnt, then this scripture that i hardly read came to my mind not exactly as its written below but essentially that i was no longer under judgement but had passed from death unto life.

John 5:24

Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.

I immediately agreed with that scripture and i was like “yeh thats true” and then something amazing happened, i felt like i was saved in my soul, i had not had a feeling come to me like that before in that way that i have knowledge of, it changed me, and the thoughts of me thinking i was being judged stopped and rarely came to me again after that. I also felt that this scripture was good news, i had not come across a scripture that had such an emotional expression in me like this one did about the good news of the bible, i was exclaiming verbally that is was good news, it actually felt like good news it was amazing. I had not had this revelation before.

So thats a part of the story of the experience in the spirit that i had, and with it came a whole lot of revelation about things which i am still yet to unpack all of it, there is many things to write and im feeling like finishing writing for now, i believe i will continue this story and revelation on The Old Man, The Matrix, The Subconscious Mind and Overcoming Fear at another point, bless you all and have a prosperous day or night whichever you’re in reading this.

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