Broken Mirror

Have you ever been shattered? like really shattered in your soul and heart? Something like a broken relationship or a death of a loved one would do it, I have, and if you have too, you know it takes time and a lot of healing words and comfort to overcome the pain if you ever have overcome the pain, sometimes even though you are no longer experiencing the intense emotions and feelings in the heart and soul you still are left with a niggling years later that something is not right, that something is still bothering you about that experience that broke and shattered your heart.

…many people have exprienced such shattering…

I think that many people who have experienced such shattering in their heart have come to a place where they manage and cope with life to a doable level (not always though) but something in there heart tells them that there is more and they are missing something, its as though you expect that person to fill that void that you lost, or if it was an experience like being abused in some level maybe you still want to be at peace with whomever did the abuse to you, or maybe you feel you want revenge or want to spray them with words of fire and rage and fill them with the feelings you have so you can feel vindicated, this and other experiences in the emotions are generally normal to have after such experiences, but i think there is a better and more easier way.

You see sometimes the person you may want back, cant come back, maybe they’re dead, maybe they’re married if you loved them and wanted to be with them, maybe the abuser is nowhere to be found or doesnt want to talk with you, maybe you just want peace and quiet in your soul but you cant find it and you dont care about having anything to do with the people or person who caused the shattering, you just want the niggling of pain and torment or fear to go away, or whatever the type of pain might be from the shattering.

Heres the point sometimes you dont get all the things you want but you do have at times what you need, and somewhere in your turmoil is an answer to your problem, it may be as simple as sharing your heart openly with god and telling him EXACTLY how you feel, you may need to swear if you want to, not because you want to abuse god or be disrespectful its just sometimes the words you have come out in swearing because you learnt that when you have that particular emotion you use those words and you havent trained yourself to use the better normal words to speak about that emotion.

I have mentioned sharing your feelings i believe in previous blogs on this site, but its a really good way to open up your heart and let out what bothering you and bring change to your circumstances, i have been doing it today and it opened up a whole new world of thinking to me that the trouble ive been having in a certain area to do with wanting to build an empire of businesses in my town and various other things have been because i’ve been afraid, ive been afraid of living, ive been afraid of dreaming, ive been afraid to get what i want, ive connected this proverbial dot in my mind and heart and soul that if i get what i want and enjoy it, it must be bad because when i did what i wanted and enjoyed it i was doing bad things in my past before i was a believer, so this carried over in my thinking and over 13 years later im still struggling with this concept, yet now i know the truth about my inability to cope with pressure and stress regarding trying to do new things and do things i enjoy was simply because i was afraid.

Its just that this was all happening on a subconscious level and my conscious mind wasn’t always overtly aware of these feelings even though they came up but i didnt often bring them up if at all to god in prayer, i kept them to myself, this is a challenging thing to overcome because often you think you dont have any feelings or emotions regarding a certain issue, but the key is to just go with the flow, just let them out, if you are struggling with some sort of feeling of pressure or oppression, its quite often a case you are feeling something in your mind you are unaware of, that is you dont have thoughts or a sense of a particular emotion but more like a feeling or sense that something isnt right or is different.

So the title of this article is called broken mirror, i think this is apt, because when your heart and soul are shattered its like you’ve become broken like a mirror, and now the reflection you have of yourself in your inner self is shattered, so when you see yourself, you often will have a sense of, something like this “apart of me wants this, and another part of me wants that” “i want this but im not really sure if i should do it” and things like that, there are other things involved at times that cause those feelings but that is the sense of whats going on when you are shattered and fractured in heart and soul. And when you view yourself its like a broken mirror, like you’re all disconnected from being your whole self, but you can still be a form of yourself just not whole in the sense of what whole should be like.

So whats happening i believe for now, and this could change, but i believe that a part of the healing process in joining those broken bits of mirror back together and integrating your soul and heart back to the complete self is sharing those deep buried emotions you’ve been avoiding all this time, often when people talk about how they feel they avoid talking about whats really getting to them and “beat around the bush” they talk more about what they think and know thinking they are telling you how they feel, when if they told you how they truly feel, their story would often but not always in a complete sense be very different to what their mind is portraying of the event. The mind is the analytical side of things, the heart flows in feeling more, it connects to the deeper part of you that is holding on to those emotions that are troubling you, its as though those cracks in the mirror are the storehouses of emotions and when you start taking them out and viewing them and talking about how you feel, its like you are supernaturally reintegrating your mirror when you put them back to look like a normal mirror or another words your soul becoming more complete and whole and your heart returning to a state of peace and rest, it can now be at rest in who it is and not disjointed and out of place feeling like something is off. Because the feeling that was dividing itself from its core has now been taken out of the way and no longer causing harm or disruption, its been heard, its been felt, it now has a place in the conscious mind and is now aware of what it has been feeling, it can settle in rest and peace now, not billowing with emotional turmoil wanting to be heard and feeling rejected and unloved, because somewhere the pain seemed to great that it couldn’t be heard or felt so it was locked away and broken off into another piece of the mirror.

The thing that helps is having someone hear your heart, a good friend who is accepting of you how you feel, and praying to god are two ways this can be done, its not always easy to find a friend you can use like a sounding board or counselor, but there are times where a friend will listen to you go on a bit about how you’re feeling, i find in my mind the idea a counselor would be best suited for this, but unfortunately there are not always counselors available that are equipped or if they are they are not in your awareness that you can goto them or know where they are.

Something that may help being able to go to a counselor…

Something that may help being able to go to a counselor that will be of use is to practice talking to god first, quite often there’s things you want to tell him and can only tell him, and the more you practice in  a safe environment like the comfort of your room or home talking it out with god, it will be an easier task to go to a trained counselor and express how you feel, without fumbling around trying to figure out all the ins and outs of what your feeling and thinking. Often a counselor is necessary when you cant find your way in talking to god or maybe you just need a person to hear you out, it sounds strange that you would need a person when you have god almighty on your side, but there is added benefit in having a person who you can relate to in the natural to share your heart and feelings with, feelings can be scary and often there is times when the feeling seems too intense or verbally challenging and having someone to talk to in front of you that responds to what you are saying can be of great help, as god is not always so verbal to me and others when we are sharing out heart with him, sometimes he just listens and waits for us to finish our discourse, he’s not to concerned about trying to tell us what to do or how we should feel when we have problems of a deep emotional nature, but he is very much willing to listen and let us share our heart to its full contentedness even if it means wallowing on in much rambling trying to get to the deep rooted point of why we feel so hard done by or so traumatised that we cant get out of our bed in our hearts and do what we gotta do to live.

The Key to sharing your feelings:

The key to sharing feelings is simply this, you use “I feel…”statements a lot, for example, i feel alone and rejected because my family wont address me with love when i come home from work or school, i feel angry at my mum for not calling me and being with me when i was a kid to nurture me and befriend me.

Then there are times when you simply state the feeling, like “I hate, or I am afraid, or I love, I’m angry, Im fearful etc etc.

he (god) already knows how you feel….

The thing that helps when talking to god is being aware that he ALREADY KNOWS how you feel, trying to avoid sharing it and pretending you dont hate your mum when you know you do, is like trying to tell someone who saw you take that money, and you say i didnt do it.

Talking about feelings especially ones that are negative and fearful in nature isnt about trying to keep those feelings as a natural constant state, the reasoning behind it to me is, so that you release it from your system and dont feel shattered holding onto a emotion that is harming you by not being released, you can find a great deal of pleasure releasing certain emotions and find that you are more calm after you share something, it also relaxes you knowing you are being heard, because quite often the thing that troubles a heart more than many other things, is when it feels like its not heard, and that can be and is very distressing to some people and causes disruptions in areas of your life like your well being and your relationships.

Thats about all i got for now on this topic, not that theres not more its just i sense and feel my emotional flow on this topic is finished or depleted of its energy to continue on with much more, it seems i have gotten to a point of releasing my energy in this area and until it comes again theres not much more i know i need to say, thank you for reading and may you have peace in knowing you can share your heart and be heard by the creator of the universe Jesus christ and our father god Jehovah.

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